Sorry for the MIA. The bottom line is all is well. I have been quite tired lately (yay!), and getting ready for Christmas took most of my time in the last two weeks.
We saw the baby's heartbeat...three times, actually - but that's another story. Again, bottom line is that everything is going like it should. We had a bit of a scare, but it's okay now. I'll back track and write more later. For now, my bed is calling...and my heating pad for my shot spot (still on the PIO).
I promise to check up on all of you this week :-) Hope everyone is well!
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
Nausea anyone?
Yes, still have a bit of nausea. Someone remind me not to eat so much, please. I always forget that putting more food in there is not a good thing. But, I feel like the nausea is the boys' (and this baby's) way of reassuring me. So, every time the nausea comes up...I do the "ugh, Oh Yeah!" Then I thank the boys.
Sorry for not posting too much, but I'm quite tired now too. It's just in perfect time for my last minute Christmas shopping too. So, don't expect too much from me this holiday season. Maybe I'll send Valentines gifts or something!
And last thing, I agree with most other deadbabymamas...this time of year is way too hard. I'm pregnant now and I have something to look forward to, so you'd think it would make it easier. It doesn't. I just keep remembering that I should have a 1 year old now. And if I don't have him, I should have a 5 month old. Bottom line is that I should already be celebrating Christmas with a baby (outside of the womb).
Sorry for not posting too much, but I'm quite tired now too. It's just in perfect time for my last minute Christmas shopping too. So, don't expect too much from me this holiday season. Maybe I'll send Valentines gifts or something!
And last thing, I agree with most other deadbabymamas...this time of year is way too hard. I'm pregnant now and I have something to look forward to, so you'd think it would make it easier. It doesn't. I just keep remembering that I should have a 1 year old now. And if I don't have him, I should have a 5 month old. Bottom line is that I should already be celebrating Christmas with a baby (outside of the womb).
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Results are in...
***Warning: This is a happy post. I haven't had one of those in a while, so I'm not really sure if I'll do it right.***
So, I'll cut to the chase since some of you are anxiously awaiting. My grade C blasts worked...at least one of them did. My first beta was 116 on Wednesday at 14 dpr (days past retrieval). My second beta was 270 on Friday, at 16 dpr. So, likely just a very strong singleton! I am very cautious with this though. It's almost unbelievable - so, that's why it's taken so long for me to share with my fellow bloggers. Thank you all for all the support. It really did mean a lot to me during the wait. If you want the long story, keep reading...otherwise, I wish all of you a wonderful holiday season.
Oh, and I'm not sharing this with the general public...so if you share My.Space of Fa.cebook with me, please don't say anything!!!
***********************************
Long version:
Transfer was on the Monday before Thanksgiving at 12:15. It seemed like forever that day to get to transfer time, but I did have accupuncture at 10 so that helped. Based on doctor's orders, I had 48 hours of bedrest. Need I mention that I don't like bedrest? It's one thing when I'm protecting my baby and can feel him kicking me for reassurance (like with Brayden). It's a whole other thing when I'm not thinking the IVF is even going to work b/c my blasts were not super. Plus, who wants to be reminded of laying in bed when they didn't end up with the screaming baby in the end? Anyway, I was pretty convinced that the IVF hadn't worked. I don't really know why, but I was trying to stay positive. I was also contemplating how I would deal with the next round and when. I was planning.
We went to visit our parents on Wednesday before Thanksgiving. People kept asking when I would know, and my answer continued to be "My blood test is next Wednesday." Well, I completely couldn't handle waiting that long. I started to take HPTs on Thursday morning. Yes, that's only 3dp5dt = 8 dpo (days past ovulation). That's very, very early but I didn't know the rules of IVF and I was quite anxious. Of course it was negative, but it didn't hurt. I tested again on Friday. I don't know how long I stared at the test willing it to be positive. There may have been the faintest of faint lines at that time, but I finally threw it away. Then another test on Saturday morning around 6am (don't worry, I got them on sale), this time I saw the faint line...but I convinced myself it was just a shadow, the antibody strip, or even an evaporation line. I obsessed over this test. I committed the ultimate HPT sin, I went back and looked at the Saturday test again about 2 hours later. I could definitely see the faintest line, but it had to be an evaporation line...right???
So, I needed to share my craziness. I sent a very blury camera phone pic of the test to a fellow deadbabymama and IVFer. Not only did she confirm that this type of test is known for not having evaps, but SHE SAW the line too!!! I worked up an excuse to go to Walmart and buy more tests without anyone knowing (I didn't want to tell anyone until I had dark lines). So after 4 hours of holding it and anxiously awaiting my chance to test again, I did test using E.quate plus/minus type. In less than 1 minute, the cross line was visible. It was still faint though. Even my husband could see this line (he didn't "see" the others). I went into denial at this point. I tried to convince myself that the line was the wrong color and there was something wrong with it. After listening to me hum and ha for a few minutes about this, my husband said, "Do you really think you would have two different types of tests give you bad results in the same day?" He then went on to read the HPT instructions to me that say that any line within the 10 minute limit is a positive. Okay, at this point...OMG it DID work!
Then, pure anxiety set in. I'm quite excited, but very, very anxious. If I didn't think it was completely crazy, I would be taking HPTs every day (still) just to reassure myself. In fact, I did take HPTs every day until my first blood test. They've all been positive and continued to get darker.
********************************************
I think this baby must know that I need constant assurance. Why you ask? Because I already have morning sickness! I know, it's insane because I'm only 4w3d today. I swear that the nausea (aversion to smells) started at 3w6d!!! Maybe it's the additional drugs with IVF? Maybe it's the baby's brothers making sure that mommy believes! Whatever it is, I'm incredibly thankful to be nauseous. I'm even more thankful that this worked, because I know it's not a sure thing. I know that I am very fortunate for this to have worked...
So, I'll cut to the chase since some of you are anxiously awaiting. My grade C blasts worked...at least one of them did. My first beta was 116 on Wednesday at 14 dpr (days past retrieval). My second beta was 270 on Friday, at 16 dpr. So, likely just a very strong singleton! I am very cautious with this though. It's almost unbelievable - so, that's why it's taken so long for me to share with my fellow bloggers. Thank you all for all the support. It really did mean a lot to me during the wait. If you want the long story, keep reading...otherwise, I wish all of you a wonderful holiday season.
Oh, and I'm not sharing this with the general public...so if you share My.Space of Fa.cebook with me, please don't say anything!!!
***********************************
Long version:
Transfer was on the Monday before Thanksgiving at 12:15. It seemed like forever that day to get to transfer time, but I did have accupuncture at 10 so that helped. Based on doctor's orders, I had 48 hours of bedrest. Need I mention that I don't like bedrest? It's one thing when I'm protecting my baby and can feel him kicking me for reassurance (like with Brayden). It's a whole other thing when I'm not thinking the IVF is even going to work b/c my blasts were not super. Plus, who wants to be reminded of laying in bed when they didn't end up with the screaming baby in the end? Anyway, I was pretty convinced that the IVF hadn't worked. I don't really know why, but I was trying to stay positive. I was also contemplating how I would deal with the next round and when. I was planning.
We went to visit our parents on Wednesday before Thanksgiving. People kept asking when I would know, and my answer continued to be "My blood test is next Wednesday." Well, I completely couldn't handle waiting that long. I started to take HPTs on Thursday morning. Yes, that's only 3dp5dt = 8 dpo (days past ovulation). That's very, very early but I didn't know the rules of IVF and I was quite anxious. Of course it was negative, but it didn't hurt. I tested again on Friday. I don't know how long I stared at the test willing it to be positive. There may have been the faintest of faint lines at that time, but I finally threw it away. Then another test on Saturday morning around 6am (don't worry, I got them on sale), this time I saw the faint line...but I convinced myself it was just a shadow, the antibody strip, or even an evaporation line. I obsessed over this test. I committed the ultimate HPT sin, I went back and looked at the Saturday test again about 2 hours later. I could definitely see the faintest line, but it had to be an evaporation line...right???
So, I needed to share my craziness. I sent a very blury camera phone pic of the test to a fellow deadbabymama and IVFer. Not only did she confirm that this type of test is known for not having evaps, but SHE SAW the line too!!! I worked up an excuse to go to Walmart and buy more tests without anyone knowing (I didn't want to tell anyone until I had dark lines). So after 4 hours of holding it and anxiously awaiting my chance to test again, I did test using E.quate plus/minus type. In less than 1 minute, the cross line was visible. It was still faint though. Even my husband could see this line (he didn't "see" the others). I went into denial at this point. I tried to convince myself that the line was the wrong color and there was something wrong with it. After listening to me hum and ha for a few minutes about this, my husband said, "Do you really think you would have two different types of tests give you bad results in the same day?" He then went on to read the HPT instructions to me that say that any line within the 10 minute limit is a positive. Okay, at this point...OMG it DID work!
Then, pure anxiety set in. I'm quite excited, but very, very anxious. If I didn't think it was completely crazy, I would be taking HPTs every day (still) just to reassure myself. In fact, I did take HPTs every day until my first blood test. They've all been positive and continued to get darker.
********************************************
I think this baby must know that I need constant assurance. Why you ask? Because I already have morning sickness! I know, it's insane because I'm only 4w3d today. I swear that the nausea (aversion to smells) started at 3w6d!!! Maybe it's the additional drugs with IVF? Maybe it's the baby's brothers making sure that mommy believes! Whatever it is, I'm incredibly thankful to be nauseous. I'm even more thankful that this worked, because I know it's not a sure thing. I know that I am very fortunate for this to have worked...
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