Yep...jinxed!!!

So, I did jinx myself. No 5 hour period for us last night. That'll show me :-) Riley did sleep for 4 hours, though, so not too bad! But then she slept for 3 hours, 1.5 hours, 1 hour...30 minutes. Forget the idea of an actual schedule. Right now she's been asleep for about an hour. I have my fingers and toes crossed that she'll stay down for just a bit longer. I'm going to try and eat a sandwich now - which should assure that she will wake up!


I swear I'm not feeding her coffee or anything...

...she just fights sleep.

5 hours!!!

I'm probably jinxing myself by writing about this...but Riley has been sleeping for 5 hour periods since Monday (almost one entire week). It is only one 5 hour period per night, but I feel like that's huge. I'm starting to feel like a human being again! The only issue is that I haven't "taught" myself to go to sleep at the same time yet. I have a case of the "mothers". Meaning that there is always one more thing that I can get done before I sit (or lay) down. It tends to drive DH crazy...but I get a lot of stuff done right before going to bed. Like sorting laundry, folding laundry, putting away dishes, washing bottles, and even dessert for mommy sometimes. Eventually, I'm going to figure this out somehow. I need my sleep, but for now this is very good!

Riley was nice enough to pose for me the other day...while sleeping. Here are a few pics:

(The cheeks are courtesy of her daddy)

What's going on...

I have been at a loss for words lately as an online friend of mine has had to say goodbye to her little girl. This friend is now a member of the "two time" DBM group. To lose a baby once is just unfair, to go through it again is completely unfathomable. My heart just aches for her. I wish there were something I could say or do to make her pain more bearable (b/c we all know it won't go away).

With this going on, it doesn't seem right to post all about Riley. My short update is:
She is outgrowing many of her clothes - the newborn size.
We have moved her to her room for nightime...which makes mommy quite nervous.
And I think her soft spot is getting bigger - I'm watching it like a hawk, though.

For good news, Holly has had her baby and they are doing well. Gwen's appearance is a true miracle and something to be quite thankful for. Go wish Holly happy motherhood at Empty Arms (http://missinggregory.blogspot.com/).

Lastly, my request to all of you is that you please say a prayer (or whatever you do) for Heather and her baby Hannah. She needs all the love she can get. Also add Gwen to your prayer list that she may gain weight and maintain her body temp so that she can go home with her parents soon.

I miss my boys...

It seems so inappropriate to feel this way - to feel sad when I have so very much to be happy about - but, I do. I'm sitting here trying to write thank you notes to my doc and his nurse for all they have done through the past 2.5 years...and it makes me sad. I should have been writing these thank you's two years ago, or at least one year ago.

Plus, what do you say to the people that have seen you through the most awful points in your life. My doc was there for both of the boys births. His nurse answered my every phone call through all three pregnancies (and the in-betweens) and never once told me I was crazy! They have both been more than supportive, and I'm finding myself at a loss. I will see them tomorrow for my 6wk appointment, and I'm taking cookies to the office.

Also talking about the boys, a friend of a friend of a friend (convoluted enough?) gave me a card with the picture below. The friend even framed it for me. It's called "Soul Mates", but to me it looks like the boys being held by God's hand. It's perfect, and I love it. I have it up in Riley's room to remind me (and her) that her brothers are always watching and loving.

Riley's announcement

We finally sent out Riley's birth announcements last week...I'd send one to each of you, but this will have to do for now.

Announcing our darling little girl:

Oh, and the latest news from our house is that my daughter wants to be held all evening! I think she figured this out while being with both her grandmas this weekend :-)

1 month update

Riley had her 1 month check up today. She's doing really good - is up to a "normal" newborn size. Makes sense since she is gestationally 40w1d today. She's up to 7lb 13oz and is 20.5" long. that's 30oz in just 21 days, so mommy is now feeling pretty good about her eating. She's still on the lower side of the percentages, but that's to be expected since she was 5wks early. So, other than the diaper rash and occasional spitting up, she's doing really well.

Mommy, on the other hand, is not as perfect. I think the sleep deprivation is finally getting to me. I knew before hand that I would not deal with the lack of sleep well - just from previous experience. I'm just plain mean and a bit irrational when I don't get enough sleep. Most people would take naps, but I have a hard time with taking naps. Like I just don't shut down during the day. Granted, I am trying to nap...just not too successfully.

So, with my lack of sleep, there are a few things that are bothering me. Since I tend to keep things bottled up, I'm going to air my frustrations here...hoping this will help.
{Dear mom and MIL - You can continue to read, but I don't really expect or want you to solve these. I just need them out of my head. }:
I feel like all I do all day is wash bottles and pump accessories. Can't someone else do this? Why am I the only one to do it? And why am I washing bottles when I breastfeed anyway???
Does laundry ever end? I don't seem to mind all the pink stuff, but the rest of the stuff is getting in the way!
Am I making my daughter lopsided (in height) by only grabbing the same leg every time I change her? But if I lay her the other way, I find it impossible to change her diaper.
Where does the time go each day? I have so many things that I plan to do...and each day my plan changes.
Why do I feel like I need to have dinner ready (or planned) by the time DH gets home? And the house clean / vacuumed? Am I really suppose to be able to handle that too?
I really thought my relationship with DH was ready for this change (we have been preparing for a while now after all), but I still feel like we are strained. Maybe I'm just taking too much in on myself though...he probably doesn't feel this way! I'm pretty positive that this one in particular is a direct result of my "crazies" from being tired :-)

I'm truly not complaining, or I'm not meaning to at all. Each and every minute of motherhood is amazing. Riley is pure and complete joy. I wouldn't change one sleep deprived, spit up stained, gassy crying minute of it!!!

Riley's Due Date

Today was Riley's due date (8/12/09). I'm actually post dating this by a day, because I totally missed the day! I can't believe she's been here for an entire month...and we have just reached her due date. It's crazy to think that I could have still been pregnant at this point - if it weren't for those pesky contractions and that whole c-section thing.

Point for the day - I'm still loving all the moments...I'm just really tired, so I forget about some of them until later :-)

One Month Old

Riley is one entire month old today. It seems totally unimagineable! I can't believe that she's been with us for over 4 weeks already. Time is flying by. We've been through jaundice, poor weight gain, and lazy eating in that time. Of course, we are still dealing with the lazy eating...and hoping that the weight gain has picked up. We will find out about that on Thursday (at her one month check up).

She smiles - though not necessarily at anyone or anything in specific. She coos and squeaks (her daddy and I call her "squeaker" a lot of the time). She cries very little - I know this will change. She has gas :-) though it makes her squirmy and makes her parents laugh. And, of course, she poops!!! She's just got her first bit of diaper rash (which may be TMI for some readers, so sorry) and I'm trying desparately to make it go away. I think tomorrow may be a day for some "open air" (meaning no diaper) for a while.

To commemorate the day, I had to pose her (she was kicking her sign):

Compared to her birthday...

And another pic (today) while getting ready for bed...she's still awake now :-)

Riley's first "episode"

Riley had her first crying episode today. And it really wasn't much of an episode since it was in the car...but it definitely struck a cord with mommy.

We were out running errands and I had just put her back in the car to go home (she's behind the passenger seat). By the time I got to the driver's door, she was screaming! I turned on the car and tried talking to her a bit, but her screaming didn't subside. So, being a new mommy, I got out and climbed into the backseat to try and comfort her. When being near her and patting on her and even her pacifier wouldn't calm her down, I took her out of the seat. **Poof** like magic she was okay pretty quickly. Maybe she was hot??? Maybe she was tired of being in her seat?? Who knows. Point is, it freaked her mommy out and got me to respond quickly. Wonder if she's learning that yet?

I realize that a more veteran mommy would probably have just driven on home. And Riley probably would have quieted down on the way with no problem. Thing is, as a new first time mom, I just can't stand to hear her cry! I feel silly writing that, but it's so true. I don't want to be the mommy that fusses over my child all the time with every squirm and squeak...but I am. Oh well!

Riley's room

So, I realized I hadn't posted the pics of our little girl's room. It's completely adorable (if I do say so myself). So, here are some pics for your viewing pleasure:

This is the view from the doorway. She's actually got a lot of furniture for a little baby!Here is a close up of her crib. The letters were made by my best friend - so talented! Oh, and this is the "new" bedding - we had it remade locally (without smoke).

The other side of the room with her changing table.
The rocker, that her daddy loves! Also, you can see the chimes hanging down from the fan - those are chimes for the boys. They sing all the time to their sister.

And for those that are interested, the white stripe on the wall is actually from the boys. We had just begun painting the room for Cooper when we lost him. The stripe is "left over" and we have kept it. It's kind of a sentimental thing. The thought was that we would add sayings to the stripe...but I haven't found anything perfect yet. For now, the perfection is that the stripe is carried through all three of our children.

Riley is (over) 3 weeks

Riley was 3 weeks old on Thursday. But, that was Cooper's day...so I didn't blog about it. The time is going so very fast! She had already grown two inches at her 2wk appointment, and I know she's grown more now. It's almost scary how much she is changing on a daily basis. She actually looks like a newborn now (instead of a preemie). And she is outgrowing her preemie clothes!!

She is starting to have awake periods, which is fun. Of course, those periods tend to be right at the time mommy and daddy want to go to bed now :-). So we aren't as amused as we probably should be! We are even learning her cries and "how" to change diapers so she won't pee on us! (Yes, apparently even girls do that) Every day is a new adventure.

I did manage to snap a couple pics of her before the end of her 3wk day. Here are two pics I took after getting her ready for bed on Thursday: