Brayden Miller was born on March 6, 2008. He lived for about 1.5hrs and crossed the midnight hour - he passed on March 7, 2008. Brayden was 10" long and 1lb 2oz. He was our "bruiser" - definitely destined to be a football player. He (like his older heavenly brother) was perfect in every way. Ten fingers, ten toes, and an adorable button nose.
The nurse handed Brayden to Matt immediately after delivery. She knew that we were already prepared and would want as much time as possible with our son. Brayden still had some blood on him from delivery, but was absolutely beautiful. Matt held onto Brayden. He was kicking his feet out of the blanket that they has put him in. Both Matt and I just stared in wonder at our living son - he was moving! Then Matt handed Brayden to me. Brayden was continuing to kick. I put my finger to his hand to take a look at his fingers, and Brayden grabbed onto my finger. He held my hand! Then he gasped for breath...he was trying to breathe, but his lungs were just too immature. I rubbed on his cheek and touched his lips. I was truly amazed at this little boy that had been growing inside me. Brayden held his daddy's hand too.
As this was our second pregnancy, and birth, and loss...we knew some things that we would have done different. We would want pictures with our son - so, we had the camera with us in the hospital room. I knew that the drugs would make me woosy and out of it - so I tried for as long as I could to not have them. We knew family would want to know what was going on, no matter what time of night it was - so we called them sooner rather than later. It is so sad that we knew all these things...we shouldn't have known this at all.
We have almost 100 pictures of Brayden. I am extremely thankful for this...for my husband remembering the camera. I have wonderful memories of holding Brayden, touching his lips and cheeks...for the doctor handing Brayden to us immediately. I am also grateful that I got to see my husband shower his second son with love...hold Brayden, grab his hand, and revel in every amazing part of his being. It really was a touching site for me.
8 comments:
Thank you for sharing this. Your son is beautiful. I'm so sorry for all you've been through. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Love and hugs...
I find myself completely broken reading this today. I've been keeping up with you and was so rooting for this little one. Having experienced loss myself I know there are no words to make it all "okay". Brayden is beautiful and I am glad you have these happy memories to cherish for a lifetime. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Brayden is beautiful. I'm sure Cooper has found him and they are hanging out like brothers do. I am so sorry you ave had to go through this not once but twice. You are in my prayers.
Alexandra's Mommy
I'm so sorry for your loss. I just came across your blog, and I have tears streaming down my face. I know all to well what it's like to know what you need to do differently this time. I had the same thoughts, the same feelings...
What a beautiful, perfect little boy. You are blessed to have such sweet angels in heaven, although I know how much more blessed you would feel to have them here with you.
I wish I had the words to make things better, but unfortunately I don't. As you know, I have been in your shoes and I know how much this hurts.
I knew about your loss of Brayden before I ever read this, but your words just broke my heart. I am so sorry. If there is anything I can do or if you just want to talk, please know I am here.
And I meant to say, your son is absolutely beautiful and you're so blessed to have those photos and memories with your son.
I'm so sorry for your loss of your little boys. our stories are somewhat similar as i lost Emi last year and this year I lost Daniella.
22 weeks and then 23 weeks.
it's so awful.
My daughter Brenna was died, and was born on March 5th. I am so sorry for your loss.
Post a Comment