So we went forward with an IUI the day before Brayden's birthday. I had a lot of follicles, so we used Lupron as a trigger instead. I hadn't heard of doing that, but it is practiced - according to g**gle.
The Lupron is used when there are a lot of follicles because it doesn't stimulate the small follicles to grow like HCG would. It helps to prevent OHSS I guess. It's weird to use it to induce ovulation when you use it to surpress during an IVF cycle.
I think I ovulated. I think I actually felt it this time on Saturday afternoon - weird! I'm totally over in-tune with my body. No OHSS signs so far, so that's good. I guess we will see next week.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Brayden's third birthday
It's been a pretty quiet day. It's almost like the world has forgotten that I would have a three year old now...kind of.
Some people remembered, mostly due to facebook and what I posted there. I feel both weird and pushy at the same time as oddly relieved when I share anything about the boys on there. I don't post looking for the sympathy, but I do want people to remember. I want that so that what we went through was not in vain.
Today we went to church, visited the cemetery, made cupcakes, and had dinner with friends. Singing in church was hard - it's hard (just on some days) to sing praise to the one that now has my babies. Mainly because I just don't understand. The cemetery is weird while toting a 19 month old. Making the cupcakes is my way of coping. They were rainbow with homemade icing.
I know Brayden is having a wonderful birthday with all the other angels. I still miss him. And it still hurts that the rest of the world doesn't stop and realize this day. Three years ago I lost myself to the unbelievable. Somehow - through the grace of God and the constant presence of angels - I'm still going. I have a beautiful family now that includes an earthly child. It's all amazing to look back on. But it's still sad, and I don't think that will ever change.
Today I celebrate our second born, Brayden. Happy Birthday to our football player with your big shoulders and stalky stature.
Some people remembered, mostly due to facebook and what I posted there. I feel both weird and pushy at the same time as oddly relieved when I share anything about the boys on there. I don't post looking for the sympathy, but I do want people to remember. I want that so that what we went through was not in vain.
Today we went to church, visited the cemetery, made cupcakes, and had dinner with friends. Singing in church was hard - it's hard (just on some days) to sing praise to the one that now has my babies. Mainly because I just don't understand. The cemetery is weird while toting a 19 month old. Making the cupcakes is my way of coping. They were rainbow with homemade icing.
I know Brayden is having a wonderful birthday with all the other angels. I still miss him. And it still hurts that the rest of the world doesn't stop and realize this day. Three years ago I lost myself to the unbelievable. Somehow - through the grace of God and the constant presence of angels - I'm still going. I have a beautiful family now that includes an earthly child. It's all amazing to look back on. But it's still sad, and I don't think that will ever change.
Today I celebrate our second born, Brayden. Happy Birthday to our football player with your big shoulders and stalky stature.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Another sono
I'm in for my second sonogram to look at growth with this round of treatment. I'm feeling pressure in my abdomen and hoping it's just gas! How weird it is to "hope" for gas - such is the life of a PCOS infertile. The follicles should be about 12mm today. Thats considering the normal 2mm per day growth. Who knows though with as many as there are, they may have shared the medicine between all of them and be smaller.
My anxiety isn't too high yet. I think a lot of that has to do with Brayden's birthday being this weekend. He is giving me something else to focus on. Though, I don't think the hormones that I'm on really help with me being sad this week.
Done with the sono - it's not gas. I have 6 follicles on both sides that are in the 11mm range, a 12mm, and around 30 in the 8-9mm range. I'm loaded and the nurses are not going to like that!
My anxiety isn't too high yet. I think a lot of that has to do with Brayden's birthday being this weekend. He is giving me something else to focus on. Though, I don't think the hormones that I'm on really help with me being sad this week.
Done with the sono - it's not gas. I have 6 follicles on both sides that are in the 11mm range, a 12mm, and around 30 in the 8-9mm range. I'm loaded and the nurses are not going to like that!
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