Broken...still

Still no AF and, no I'm not pregnant either. Granted I haven't taken a test in over a week, but I've been temping. Yes, I'm back to crazy watching my temperature. I'm just preparing for our next try so that I will know for sure when (and if) I ovulate.

I think the light bleeding and phantom pregnancy symptoms were due to a cyst(s) rupturing. Not cool... That made me crazy I wanted so badly to just be pregnant so I wouldn't have to keep going through treatment, but there is more to it than that. I want to be "normal" and not have to go to the doctor to make a baby. I don't want the opportunity to plan as much as I do. It makes

Though now that I look back on it I don't think I was really ready yet to start down this road again.
I'm scared and it's not just about pregnancy. It's about having another child to take care of. Having another child to split my attention between. I already feel like I don't get enough time with Riley so how will I manage with another baby???

Walking

Riley has taken a few steps previously, but this weekend she really walked. We were with the grandparents, and she walked for both sets. She took over four steps in succession! I feel like we need to put the house on lock down now.

She is pretty finicky about when she walks. It seems that crawling is still her preferred method of motion. I guess it's just easier and faster.

Who knows...

I'm now 12-13dpo. AF has not shown. I've been a HPT crazed woman for the past few days. All BFN, so it's doubtful that I'm pregnant. I broke the ultimate rule, though...I let myself start hoping. I went into this cycle telling myself it would either get cancelled or end in BFN. It's looking like I'm going to get both!

I've had all sorts of phantom symptoms which have prompted me to be hopeful with every HPT. Of course, these symptoms could just be the normal way of things when a woman actually ovulates! I wouldn't really know since I don't do that very often.

Being back in the infertile world is quite frustrating. Let me add here that I know my fertility struggles are relatively small and minute compared to other infertiles. Given that, I can't imagine how they cope with this for years. I must say that I am impressed with the resilience that those girls show and their never ending drive to that final goal - a baby.

Maybe not

What I thought was AF may not be. It's been a lot lighter than usual. I've now had four days of spotting and that's it. No cramps really either. I called the nurse on Friday and she said it could be implantation or a cyst rupture. "Could be" is the key. I'm suppose to wait until Thursday to test. If it is negative then I will start birth control for my resting cycle.