Score for team BFP!

I am writing this just four days after getting my very, very faint BFP. You see, I have been in the Netherlands on business. It was a very long trip and quite draining, but I didn't forget that I could test. I actually packed a "two pack" of HPTs to take with me! My husband did get to come with me for the first portion of the trip, so he was there when I took the first test.

It was Tuesday morning...the 30th...exactly three months after losing Cooper. There was so much significance to this day. It was the exact same number of days after my trigger shot as I got the BFP with Cooper. I knew that it was probably way too soon to tell, but I needed to test anyway. As I watched the test progress, I saw this faint line appear in the results window - so faint that I thought it was a shadow at first. I moved my head back and forth and realized it was for real. That was a totally surreal moment. I was happy and sad and excited and guarded all at the same time.

I took another test on Thursday before returning home just to confirm that I was in fact pregnant. That test was quite a bit darker. Here it is - all the way from the Netherlands!


Then, we got the true confirmation yesterday from the doctor's office. The did a blood "beta" test that came back 135 - quite a bit higher than the 30.7 that came back when we found out we were pregnant with Cooper. I am pregnant! I go back in on Monday for a second beta blood test to make sure that my levels are rising as required.

I don't know whether to be excited or scared right now. I go back and forth between the two. What I do know is that I want to be completely vested in this baby no matter what. So, I am embracing this pregnancy full force. I got my first bit of nausea last night (yes, a bit early but probably influenced by jetlag too) and I am grateful for it. I don't think my husband is, though, because he has to deal with me.

I am going to try and write every other day during this pregnancy. This is something that I wish I now had for Cooper. I thank you to everyone out there reading - your prayers, thoughts, kind words...everything.