Okay, so I have shared my blog with a few more people now. I enjoy letting you guys know what is going on and how I’m feeling, so this is fun. I know that you are interested too…and are on “pins and needles” with me as I go through this pregnancy.
The weird thing is that for some reason I have now started feel like this blog should be continually upbeat - especially considering that I’m pregnant again. Like I should be oh so happy and grateful for being pregnant (which I am). It’s weird, though, because I am not continually upbeat with this pregnancy. Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely trying very hard to be, but there is still so much to be sad about and scared.
I’m finding it especially hard to be “up” today as I am constantly bombarded with the reminder that my coworker and friend had his baby. A baby that was suppose to be born just 6 weeks before Cooper. He and his wife are finding it hard to adjust to life with a baby in the picture. There are all sorts of things that they are discovering they had no idea about – as I’m sure is the case with most first time parents. They are overwhelmed, exhausted, and stressed. As much as my heart reaches out to them, I can’t help but think…”Get over it! Enjoy every second you have with that baby!!! At least you have someone to keep you up at night.”
Neither one is complaining to me (not really), so I don’t know why it is getting to me so much. They are great friends, so I just hate that I feel that way. It’s just been so different since my coworker came back from paternity leave. Of course, the day he got back I told him my good news. I could see the stress just melt out of his face. I know he has had a hard time keeping all the pregnant wife and baby stories out of our friendship for the past 3 months. I could see immediately that he was excited to start sharing his life and stories with me again. Problem is, that I’m not completely ready to hear all of them. At least, no 100% yet…and I think he realizes this. It’s just hard sitting next to him and hearing person after person after person come over and congratulate him. IT’S NOT FAIR!
Anyway, the basic thought is…even though I seem to feel that this blog should be upbeat, I’m going to write what I feel. That’s what I’ve been doing since I started it, and it seems to work. I hope you can all deal with this journey with me – up, down, and in-between.
1 comment:
I understand how you are feeling, and you have every right to feel the way you do. Please don't feel pressured to be more 'upbeat' - this is your blog and you can blog about whatever you want. I am excited for you though, and I hope to be in your shoes very soon.
Post a Comment