Mother's Day revisited

So...it took me a while to get to this post. It's definitely been on my mind, though.

For those of us DBM, Mother's Day has a very different "air". I have now experienced three very different occurrences of this day. I mean, I've "participated" in Mother's day forever - with my mom and g-moms. Even after getting married, I kind of participated b/c we have pets (which are considered your babies sometimes too). Before getting pregnant...and while going through IF...I pretty much ignored the day except to recognize the moms and g-moms around me. The day was about them and nothing more.

Then, I had my first true Mother's Day experience in 2007. I was just a few months pregnant with Cooper and full of hope. I was completely naive. My second experience, in 2008, I was now the mother of two dead babies. Not really something that I wanted to celebrate...but I still recognized that I was a mom. And my loving friends and family recognized that too (thank God for all of them). This year, I am past the all important viability point (24w) for this pregnancy. I'm not naive, but I am full of hope. I'm still terrified though, each and every day. Despite that hope, Mother's Day was very, very hard. I'm sure pregnancy hormones did not help though. If I've ever missed the boys, I missed them most this last Sunday. I sat in the nursery...which is now pink...that they never got to see, and cried. Even with all the hope that surrounds this year, I still cried for my boys.

My issue with Mother's Day is that many women that should be celebrated are overlooked. I mean, if it weren't for my protruding belly I probably wouldn't have been recognized as a mother (other than by close friends and family). My heart just breaks at this. There are mothers out there that are not recognized - due to infertility, miscarriage, baby death...the list goes on. Just because you don't have a baby/child in your arms (or belly) doesn't mean that you are not a mother! Just because you haven't cleaned up dirty diapers or spit-up or been awakened at all hours of the night - that doesn't mean that you're not a mother. If you've dreamed of your baby, tried for your baby, made plans...you are a mother.

So, belated or not, I celebrate all of you. You are amazing women who I am so happy to call friends. AND, I don't need a "special" day to celebrate you! Much love to all of you.