I recently read an interview of Jen.nifer Lo.pez. She talked about her career and marriage and being a mom. The most interesting thing I read was what she didn't expect from motherhood - guilt. She talked about feeling guilty because you can't be, no make that aren't, with your baby 100% of the time.
I wasn't suprised by this information, but rather appreciated the acknowledgement. This is such an honest truth. I feel it. I think my fellow moms feel it too. We just don't talk about it.
I'm not saying that I would or would not hang out with Riley 100% of the time if I could. I'm saying that no matter where I go or what I do or how long I'm gone, I feel guilty at some point for being away from her. I don't think this is a deadbabymama thing, but I suppose that could make it a bit more prevalent for me than my friends who have all their babies on earth.
My thoughts on this subject have gone even deeper today. When I dropped Riley at daycare, she cried. This is the first time thats happened since she was tiny. I picked her back up and she stopped and just held to me. I set her down again and she whined. I know this is a phase, and I know this is only the beginning of the phase. It is hard...it makes me want to cry. It took a lot for me to actually come to work after that - maybe she does have me wrapped around her pinkie. I know it will get worse before it gets better, but I also know that she's probably happy playing now.
Anyway, I wondered if other moms felt guilty too. Im not too crazy because J L.o feels this way! What do you think?
3 comments:
mommy guilt just comes with the territory...i wish i could say it goes away but it doesnt....i think it gets a little easier but it never really goes away...
hang in there mama...you are doing a wonderful job!
I have guilt in many forms. Guilt over my body failing Ella. Guilt over all of the meds I've had to take to prolong my current pregnancy. Guilt that I won't know enough, haven't prepared enough... I'm sure once she arrives a whole new set of guilt will present itself. Hang in there. Like you said, I hear it's a normal feeling, lbm or not. xo
I think that guilt is not just for motherhood, it is for life. It is the other side of caring about doing the best that we can. I think that it is also unhealthy if you let it change you.
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