Cooper's 3rd Birthday

Cooper's birthday is July 30th...I'm back posting this...

Time is just flying by. I can't believe it's been 3 years since we said hello and goodbye to our first born. The day is still a blur. There are only a few pictures of Cooper taken by the hospital staff. How were we to know that we would want pictures of our child that did not stay in this world with us. It is such an odd thing to remember...especially now after going through it again. There are lots of things I would have done different, but that's why "hindsight is 20/20".

We didn't have cupcakes or cake and icing on Cooper's 3rd birthday. He was very much remembered, but I went to work just like any other day. I won't be doing that in the future. Birthdays are special...and I will celebrate the entire day from now on.

The day was hard for me. There were plenty of distractions at work, but they couldn't keep my mind off the fact that I should be with my little boy. I had to leave work at lunch because I just couldn't focus. I visited the cemetary alone, which was kind of nice so I could talk to the boys by myself.

I know Cooper was with me the whole day. I could feel his presence.
Still...three years later...it is still a very hard day.