I think the sleep deprivation from having a baby (or babies in my case) makes you more emotional. I'd say its much like a roller coaster! I experience elated highs and then some pretty big lows. These use to happen in the same day - within hours of each other! That was totally exasperating on top of being exhausted. It was like PMS times a million. I'm still experiencing the roller coaster of emotions and some of that can be attributed to sleepless nights still. But I'm realizing that there is another layer to it.
I'm missing my boys. I'm missing all that could have been. And I'm trying to cope with the idea that I may never raise a baby boy. Perhaps that hits home a bit more today, Valentines day, as I think about how I won't have valentines from my boys. How I won't go to a mommy / son dance (if such a thing exists). And - this is a stretch - how I won't get to hug my son as we dance on his wedding day. But I do have my girls, and I am so very grateful.
I have such wonder and amazement every day with our girls. Each growing and learning. Riley is writing her name ALL BY HERSELF! Reagan is getting on her hands and knees and rocking. She's going to crawl very soon! And Sydney is saying "dada" constantly. Try as I may to get a momma out of her, she insists on dada.
So much to be thankful for. I do have days full of "wow, I am so blessed" but there are also days of reflection. Today I'm reflecting.
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