October 3rd - After loss portrait

I feel a bit like I've been ignoring my grief.  Yes, it has been over 5 years now...and three rainbows later I'm still grieving.  So I found this: http://carlymarieprojectheal.com/
and I'm going to participate.  I'll have to go back and add days 1 and 2, but here is day 3.

This is a picture one year after our first loss.  It was his birthday party.  It was actually quite hard to find pictures "after loss".  I don't think I posed for many that year.

 

This is after our second loss.  It was a "fake it til you make it" kind of pose.  Really, that's what it took to just keep going forward.  We were on vacation, just trying to have fun and I was still...so...very...sad.