I'm sorry, but I just don't want anyone else to be pregnant at the same time as me (this of course excludes all other deadbabymamas). It sounds so awful to say, but all I can think is "1 in 4". I have been that "one" twice now. I don't want to be that person again. AND, I don't want any of my friends or acquaintences to be that "one" either.
That's the statistic of miscarriage. One in every four pregnancies end in miscarriage. I HATE that I know that. I HATE that it's the first thing that goes through my mind when I hear someone else is pregnant. And I'm really tired of hearing of all the people that are pregnant now. All of them, by the way, are further along than me. So, what does my mind think??? That just means that I'm more likely to be the "one". I HATE this!!! I want to go back to the point when I didn't know all the statistics...when I thought that getting pregnant would be easy...when I thought that pregnancy would be a breeze...when I got excited to hear someone was pregnant!
Now I just honestly wish the rest of the world wouldn't get pregnant until I've had my baby. Or...atleast until I get to about 30 weeks or so. I'm allowed to be selfish, right?
I'm sorry, but it's the truth. I've learned of 3 more pregnant friends in just the past 3 days. It's just too much.
5 comments:
I feel the same way. Everytime I hear about someone else being pregnant means I feel like the chances of me having a living baby go down because in my world everyone else's babies live.
((((HUGS)))) friend! I am so sorry any of us have to "know" all that we do. I am here if you need to talk. Luv ya and take care!
Thinking of you! I'm so sorry you are scared...I know I will be, too, when I get there. But, it's going to be OK. I just know it. Sending lots of hugs and love your way!
This is understandable. It sucks that we have been robbed of our innocence and naivety and that you even know that about miscarriage. I will be thinking of you non-stop and really hope that you will be posting pictures of your living baby at home with you only months from now!
Yes, yes, yes....that's one of the things we have to live with for the rest of our lives. I find myself getting very short-tempered around friend's due dates, because I'm frightened for them, worried, don't want to know.
I still wish nobody ever got pregnant ever again. Except those of us who have already lost, and then everything should be perfect.
If only.
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