Today was not the best of appointments...it wasn't the worst either. I've been taking the shots in my belly for four days now and I've had NO growth. Yep, that's right...none. For those that are not in the infertility circle, that's not suppose to happen. I even had my nurse ask if my drugs had perhaps expired - nope, I even checked when I got home just in case.
So now I have about 20 follicles on each side of about 4mm each. My doc is concerned that they will all come up together. That would be a bad thing since I would perfer to not get overstimulated and b/c he's shooting for 2-3 mature follicles. I think 40 would be a bit much for him. I'm afraid that is what will happen and he will cancel this cycle. That will devastate me, so I'm already preparing for it. (Glass is half empty mentality has crept in)
I HATE THIS! I'm not sure if the fact that I got pregnant on the first try (with injections) with both of the boys is making this worse or not. I guess that proves that I can get pregnant...somewhat easily even. So why is it not working that way now????? I really just don't get it.
************************************************
All I want is a baby, God. That's it. It's been six months since Brayden was born and I think I've been quite patient. Please stop teaching me patience b/c I can't take much more. I need this...please. Please make my body work the way it's suppose to - let me get pregnant this month. If we are not meant to have a baby, just come out and tell me. I'm no longer strong enough to keep going down this journey...it hurts too much.
No comments:
Post a Comment