We are now in uncharted cervix territory. At least, sort of...
With the last pregnancy (Brayden), I measured 4.1cm at 18w6d. Then at 19w6d, I was down to 1cm. So, sometime between 19w and 19w5d is when my cervix "gave out". I've got an appointment tomorrow, so I'm hanging in there. I'm not sure what we will see - most likely a completely unphased cervix held with the TAC. I will note that I am currently overly aware of my body - particularly my uterus and cervix. I'm having more contractions than I'd like to admit. Don't worry, though, I am taking it easy...and I've got my MFM on speed dial.
So I guess that means we have officially hit my freak-out zone. How about a freak-out scale for this, okay? Let's say that 5 is the biggest freak-out and 0 is the lowest. I figure the 21st week (the week I lost both boys) will definitely be a 5. Considering that, I'd say I'm at a 3.5 to 4 right now. Not that it says much since most of this pregnancy I'd rate myself at a "freak-out 2". I'm not sure when this zone will decrease, though. Perhaps when I get to the 24, 26, or 28 week mark? One day at a time, right...
7 comments:
Happy 19 weeks!!! These are the scriptures I'm going to pray for you:
“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me." John 14:1
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8
I also love that verse in 'The Message': Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.
I'm holding your hand and there w/ you every step till you bring home that precious baby girl. Even though I cant really be there, I hope you can feel my love and my cheering you on. YEA for 19 wks. Luv ya...
I can only imagine what you are going through, you have every right to be scared, but have faith in your TAC, You are doing great!
Thinking about you lots!
I can imagine that this must be such a tough time. I certainly hope you get good news at your appointment. I know you will be on pins and needles for a while now...hope the time flies and you are full term and care free before you know it!
My freakout zone is 16-17 weeks, so I know how this 19 week mark feels to you. I know you have an appt. tomorrow but can you go in any time just to have your cervix measured if you need to? I'd hate for you to have freakout moments over the weekend and not be able to do anything about them.
Take care sweet girl. I'll be thinking about you over the next few days. And I got your email and I'll be praying for your friend as well.
Yes, one step at a time! And it would be weird if you weren't freaking out. It's only normal given your losses.
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