My birthday

Yesterday was my birthday. It was a "big one" too. My DH took me to dinner, and several people sent cards and wishes. It was nice. I even got some pretty roses. He wasn't allowed to throw any big party or surprise me since that probably wouldn't be the best idea with the contracting pregnant woman. Maybe we'll have a huge party in August after the baby gets here - celebrating her birthday along with her parents' "big" birthdays.

It just doesn't feel real...this "big" birthday. I guess there are two reasons for that:

1. We kind of ignored my birthday last year. It was just 6 days after we had buried our second child, and crazy enough - I didn't feel like celebrating. So, I kind of feel like I am still that age. I feel like this year, I should be turning the age of the year before. Does that make any sense?

2. I really thought I would have a living, breathing baby at home with me by now. I'm quite a planner, and in all my plans never did I believe that I would be at this point without my earthly baby. Even after we got married, it was in the plan to have a baby at home with us by this point. To our own defense, it's not like we haven't tried to stay to this "timeline" of sorts. We've attempted twice now to bring home a baby before this milestone. Stupid IC has thrwarted our efforts, though.

So, if you were one of the lovely friends/family to wish me a good day yesterday...thank you. And if I seemed a bit...well, off...this is why. I really do appreciate all the well wishes. Not to mention the fact that now my DH says I'm old!!! (I married a younger man - only slightly though)