An okay day?

So lately it seems that I can sometimes have "less bad" days. In fact, yesterday was almost okay. I think it was that way because I was just ridiculously busy. I had work and a wedding to do!
I was at work for almost a full day entertaining customers. When I did leave work, I had to go by the dentist to have my fillings adjusted. Then I cleaned up the house a bit when I got home, and a neighbor came by with her (less than 2yo) daughter. I proceeded to get all gussied up for the wedding b/c it was a "after 7" wedding. Little black dress here I come! Oh, and I started sipping the wine as I was putting on my makeup...yes, I've been wearing makeup for three days now - not sure that will last, though.

The wedding was nice, and I only had to leave our dinner table twice. I thought that was good considering there were two infants in the room...and, to my defense, one of my "episodes" was brought on by an infant being brought to our table for an extended period of time. So, I didn't dance, but I did actually smile. Of course, the additional few glasses of wine I had with dinner probably helped with that. Needless to say, today I'm hungover. Such a weird feeling for someone who hasn't really been able to drink in a full year! Now I remember why I don't drink that often...at least not that much.

I guess yesterday was an okay day, then. Problem is that I just don't think I can stay that busy every day, though.

Today is not a good day. But my physical ailments are not the real reason that today is "not good". I have come to think lately that one okay day is followed by at least two cruddy ones. I just think that being "normal" for a full day is completely exhausting. My grief refuses be ignored! So, it reminds me...today would have been 28weeks...if I were still pregnant, of course. According to the doctors, 28 weeks is a huge milestone. Babies actually have a good chance of surviving when born after that point. So, today is the reminder that if I just could have kept Brayden inside me until today, I could have brought him home.

Yep, still sucks!