WT*???

Okay, lame title...but I'm really not one to curse. Although...today I'm thinking it!


So my injections were working on Tuesday. I was progressing "normally". I HATE that word. Anyway, my follicles (eventually eggs) were getting bigger at an expected rate. Well, today they had shrunk. Yep, shrunk. To those of you not in the infertility community, that just doesn't happen. I mean, they can stay the same size...but not shrink. Plus, my lining was significantly reduced. What in the world is going on???


Of course my RE had to be on vacation today, so the nurse said she would have to call me later. Well, my doc actually called me back about 2 hours after my appointment. That's a big deal because he didn't have to call - I guess he's trying to be more personable...and I really appreciate that. Well, he had two options for me. The choices were stop now on this cycle or go on for this cycle. Hmmm, let me think about this. Honestly, he doesn't have high hopes for this cycle and was really suggesting that we stop wasting our time (my interpretation, not his words).


Oh well, I decided to keep going. So today I'm taking lots and lots of injections. Tomorrow is still a lot, but not as much today. Then, the decision day is Saturday. If my RE doesn't see the kind of growth he's looking for (4 mm or so), we will cancel this cycle and just look forward to next month.


So, I'm a bit disappointed today. In fact, this pretty much ruined my day. So, it got me thinking...if I'm having a hard time with just cancelling a cycle, how will I do with a BFN (negative pregnancy test)? And what about if I do get the BFP and then miscarry? Or, the worst of all, what about if I lose another baby - halfway through the pregnancy? How in the world am I going to be able to do all this???

God, please help me through this.