This is my rant...I seem to do that a lot these days, but I apparently have a lot of anger. AND, I think I'm allowed to be angry b/c the past year s*cks!
Honestly, I don't want invites to your baby shower. I don't want to open the seemingly harmless card. I don't want to see the blue writing inviting me to celebrate you and the baby you will be having the same month I SHOULD BE having mine! I don't appreciate not being warned about this card. Why the h*ll did you think that I would want to come to your shower? I have lost two babies...two babies!!!! No, I don't want to come to your shower. No, I don't want to watch you open cute blue outfits and blankets. I don't want to see how your belly has grown. I don't want to see you "ooh" and "aahh" as your son moves in your stomach. I honestly just don't like you...at least I really don't like the situation...and I feel so very horrible for feeling that. But, it's the truth.
And please, please don't send me an announcement. Your son will be born just days after mine was due. Your son will be a constant reminder of what I have lost. I'm just not strong enough yet to deal with that. I know it's not your fault, but it is really not fair at all.
To be fair, you can send these things to me. You just have to warn me first. I need that time to mentally prepare for the reminder. Tonight, you completely knocked me off my "I'm doing good" horse. I was not prepared for a baby shower invite at all. Now, I have to walk back up that hill and tell myself that I'm okay...and make myself believe it. Because right now, I'm not okay at all and it is your fault - or at least your invite's fault.
5 comments:
(((hugs)))
I'm so sorry. I got a baby shower invite to my SIL's sister's shower the day of Dylan's 1st birthday. I was devestated so I understand your feelings. Why couldn't she warn me that I was being invited? Needless to say, I turned that down FAST. Her son was born 11 days after Riley was due...*sigh* why don't they just understand?
Thank you for your wonderful comments to me, btw. It really made me feel so much better knowing that I'm not the only one who tries to protect my family.
I don't get why they don't get it!
Don't they see that we are hurt, sad, lonely, upset, depressed, angry, disappointed, and these stupid reminders DO NOT help. We don't care about their babies, we care about our own. And I am so sorry that she is being so inconsiderate.
I could kick her ass if you wanted me to. I at least have the energy and strength to do that :-)
oh honey I am so sorry. People seriously need a reality check sometimes. They need to engage their brains before doing such thoughtless, insensitive things. I think generally people are so wrapped up in themselves, they don't think of how their actions can hurt others.
Much love to you, always thinking of your precious boys...
Hello from a fellow TAC'er. Mine was placed during pg (12 weeks). It is truly a miraculous procedure- mine held tight until 34 weeks with 5 1/2 lb (each) twins.
If only the surgery could take away the pain of our losses.
I just found your blog and my heart aches for you. I just lost a baby in March who was 21 weeks. I am so glad to hear that I am not the only one who feels like this. Both of my Sisters in Law are pregnant and due a month after I was. It is so hard to be around them. Thanks for sharing your story. I will keep checking your blog. -Valerie
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